Insomnia

Amazing isn't it.
How little things in life can be so easily taken for granted.


Like sleep.

Sleep is a natural action. It's the body's resting period. Helps us heal.
I've really been lacking this lately. I don't think I've had more than 5 hours of sleep on any given day this past month.
This is no fault but my own really, I'm not sure how though. It's like a reflex, I just wake up, usually at some obscene hour in the morning.

I know, I know... Some people get 5 hours and they're fine.
It's true and I believe this. I believe I am one of them. But the consistent lack of any rest is starting to get to me.
People take naps.
I can't, I'm just never tired enough during the day to do this even if I did only get, say, an hour sleep the night before.

I also don't sleep till very late either.
I guess coz I'm not actually tired. I went to bed once with the birds chirping around me, sun starting to rise, and then awoke not long after.

Sigh.

The logical response is stress.
Stressed to a point where sleep is just... forgotten.
I think this is too easy of an excuse to take. I can't blame that as I feel I don't have the 'stress package' to back it up.

Maybe it's my lifestyle.
I mean, I do just sit around all day working. Maybe I need to get the energy out of my system, and sleeeeep. Again, I somewhat doubt this is a reason to be taken seriously.
I mean, at home, I usually only ever have one meal, which wouldn't really bolster my energy levels enough to give me an 'overdose' of power. Also, I've never had this before. I used to sleep like a rock even if I had barely moved during the day.



Sorry for the... well, pretty useless post.
I guess what I'm trying to do is to:

• A: Release what I'm thinking
• B: Write something on my damn blog
• C: Make my mind tired enough to sleep

Seriously, my mind should be shattered about now.
But it's not and I feel as if... I'm teetering on some precipice, about to fall into the abyss of crazy. Sometimes I just dunno what I'm doing.
As if my mind just isn't running the show.

I was just sitting working at home by myself when I just stood up and just yelled. Nothing comprehensible, just garbage. I sat back down and wonder wtf I just did.



The body is moving, but there's no driver.





Hmm... I think I'll need to proofread my dissertation again coz of this...

Blue Glow

Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a world where I speak another language and even my damn subtitles are... well, electronic brain pancake crystal elderly.

There's always an expectation.
Life runs on expectation.

I expect to do this, I expect you to do this, you expect this of me.... and the list goes on.
But noone ever said that expectations were good.

Expectations to real life are what assumptions are to science.
They make life easier.

From Dictionary.com:
sim·ple /ˈsɪmpəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sim-puhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, -pler, -plest, noun –adjective
...
10.not grand or sophisticated; unpretentious: a simple way of life.


But there is a point when everything is... too simple, too black and white.
But without expectations, does that mean that life becomes complicated?
Should we rid ourselves of expectations purely for our own benefit?
Save ourselves from disappointment? Pain? Humiliation?

You, my good sir are... DOING. IT. WRONG.

So I left home for one hour.
Which turned out to be a slightly epic hour.

I got an email from my supervisor saying to see him before he leaves for his holiday.

Fine. I don't mind, he has more surveys for me so all the better.

I jump in my car. The whole way it was making funny noises in the back.
Turns out I forgot to take the balls out when we went to the picnic and there crash-banging everything in the boot.

Fine. That's no biggie.




I drive to get on the motorway.
Fine. Again no biggie.

I get on the motorway, again no biggie.
My Ipod dies. No biggie.
I get towards the split when 2 lanes go off to north and west, and the other 2 lanes go off to town, e.g. Symonds St.
I know it's hard deciding quickly. I know. It's tough to decide which way to go, especially when there are signs telling you how to get there. People don't know which way to go when the lane splits so stops in the middle median to ponder.
STOP on the motorway.

You are doing it wrong.

Ok. So I finally get to uni.
I wander around in an abandoned building known as the Old Choral Hall (first mistake) only to find out that I need to wander in a new, slightly more populated, building known as 'THE GLENN'.

I am doing it wrong.

Lucky I ran into Virginia. It always looks better to wander aimless with another lost soul than by yourself.

So, she leaves me for finding her own supervisor and I walk in the complete wrong direction. Now, the building is big. Really big. A floor is like... a maze. Highly confusing.
I wander some more.
FINALLY, I find my supervisor and discuss everything I need to.
I leave my supervisor, who seems to be the ONLY one working on this floor and head to the elevator.
I decided to explore the building (second mistake) by walking down stairs, only to find that stairs stop at the 2nd floor, so I want to take lift down 1 floor, the 'ground floor' (third mistake).
I press button and nothing happened for 5 minutes. Lights all flash up, but nothing happens

I decided to walk up one floor and take the lift down 2 floors.
It works.
Funny thing was it stopped on EVERY floor down. Old dude with me in the lift got annoyed and was joking about pressing all the buttons, which he did.

You and I are doing it wrong.

I get out of the maze/hell hole/dungeon called 'THE GLENN' and go to my car.
Waiting at the lights (fourth mistake), a huge truck drove by spreading its copious amounts of dust and crud around.
Dust killed my eyes.
I drive and try to forget.

Ok, so I hate traffic and try profusely to avoid it.
This time I decided against going on the motorway as it was pretty bad traffic jam (fifth mistake).
So I go along Grafton.
An old man decided to JUST jump out when the lights went green for us to go but I avoided manslaughter. He was crazy.

You are doing it wrong.

There's traffic still. People are setting up for Christmas in the Park and it is to be expected.
I thought I would go down street that is perpendicular with T-mart, the one with the railway tracks (sixth mistake).
ROAD WAS CLOSED... just along the tracks....
All this time, I had been following a cop car from Grafton.

You and I are doing it wrong.

I came out behind the cinema to go roundabout which is also behind the cinema and along the road with T-mart and hopefully out onto Kyber Pass (seventh mistake).
I wanted to turn left onto Kyber and the guy next to me wanted to turn right.
He fails.
He was halfway out but not moving.

You are doing it wrong.

Broadway was surprisingly uneventful.
I decide to go along Manukau road (eighth mistake).
At every intersection, noone would give way to turning traffic.
People got angry who wanted to turn, obviously.
There was even a person driving on the wrong side of the road.

You are all doing it wrong.

I sometimes feel that taxis are the scourge of the driving world.
They did no disappoint me today.
This taxi changed into my lane JUST on an intersection, blocking every lane.

You are SERIOUSLY doing it wrong.

Ok, so who runs the traffic lights? I don't know, coz whoever does was seriously doing it wrong today. Major intersection, Greenlane West and Manukau roads lights were out.

SERIOUSLY, wtf. You are soooo doing it wrong.

Actually, I came across the first person who was doing it right.
The cop who was directing the traffic.

Afterwards I slowly made my way home.

Wow, thats a long rant about my mistake-laden day.
All this in an hour. What a play-by-play account.
I think this might be my record post. It's long and boring.

Both records in their own right.







Bah, people annoy me.
Sorry for the long post.