The Hardest Part

I wonder why I'm doing it.

I've never been like this before.

Am I that bored?

And the hardest part

Was letting go not taking part

Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing

Was waiting for that bell to ring

It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down

Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth

Silver lining in the clouds

Oh and I

I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part

Was letting go not taking part

You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing

But I couldn't think of anything

And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down

You left the sweetest taste in my mouth

You're a silver lining the clouds

Oh, and I

Oh, and I

I wonder what it's all about [x2]

Everything I know is wrong

Everything I do it just comes undone

And everything is torn apart

Oh and thats the hardest part

That's the hardest part

Yeah, thats the hardest part

That's the hardest part

In the year 2525...

We went for a picnic yesterday, I won't get into the nitty-gritty, mostly covered here.

I found out I still have the knack for throwing frisbees around.

I guess sometimes skills are really like riding a bike, it just comes back to you.

Also, found out my skills at Big2 and Last Card have really gone downhill... not that they were going uphill anytime really.

Tawharanui is so not what I remember it from high school... probably coz we weren't in the same place... maybe?

Getting back into the game.

I watched Gentlemen Broncos today.

Whacked movie, just like that of Napoleon Dynamite which was written by the same dudes.

It has Jermaine Clement in it as some plagerising sci-fi writer so it cracks me up.

I guess I recommend it if you liked Napoleon Dynamite, it all runs along the same lines really.

So I think its back to the obligatory blog song, not sure whats made me do this tradition really.

I had never heard this song until recently, which is weird since its actually kinda old, from the 2006's.

Always have been a fan of Incubus but surprised I didn't pick up on it sooner. Probably coz I don't have their Light Grenades album that I missed this song.

This is the live version, but its the same really.

Tonight we drink to youth

and holding fast to truth

don't want to lose what I had as a boy

My heart still has a beat

but love is now a feat

as common as a cold day in LA

Sometimes at night alone I wonder

Is there a spell that I am under

Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts

but sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive

Love sings

When it transcends the bad things

have a heart and try me

'Cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused

Stand naked and accused

should I surface this one man submarine

I only want the truth

So tonight we drink to youth

I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes at night alone I wonder

Is there a spell that I am under

Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts

but sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive

Love sings

When it transcends the bad things

have a heart and try me

'Cause without love I won't survive

Without love I won't survive

Love hurts

But sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive

Love sings

When it transcends the bad things

have a heart and try me

'Cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, oh

Love hurts

Without love I won't survive

Love hurts, oh

Love hurts

Without love I won't survive

Haiku

Here's my feeble attempt at a Haiku.

So we had fun yea?

I hope you did coz I did.

Baby, it's over.

Definition: Cheating

cheat

v. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats

v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.

2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.

3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.

4. To elude; escape: cheat death.

v.intr.

1. To act dishonestly; practice fraud.

2. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game: was accused of cheating at cards.

3. Informal To be sexually unfaithful: cheat on a spouse.

4. Baseball To position oneself closer to a certain area than is normal or expected: The shortstop cheated toward second base.

Bigger Man

Be the bigger man.

What does this mean anyway? I couldn't really find a definition but I know it to mean that sometimes its better to walk away from something rather than escalating it.

I've never really understood this. How does that make you the 'bigger man'?

You have higher morals? You can take the shame of leaving? You're a coward?

It's true though, sometimes you do need to walk away, but what are you leaving behind is always the 'what if' that you will never know.

I don't think this really just applies to arguments but to any conflicts found in life's situations.

Relationships, disagreements, even buying stuff between people. You just need to walk away sometimes.

But how can I walk away from something I feel so strongly about?

How do I walk away from something that my 'arguee' has long walked away from?

How do I continue?

Hmm that is the question though isn't it. How do I walk away, how I become the 'bigger man'?

I think I might never know though. Only time will unfortunately tell.

I had another whacked dream again.

Was in a mall celebrating something (?) with a bunch of my friends and then she appeared. Funny thing was I didn't feel uncomfortable, just felt like any other day. Well any other previous day. But I had a hint of... weirdness.

More and more of her family turned up and more and more of my friends just disappearing, all with me not really taking notice.

She kept talking to me through texts, never to my face. What she said, I wouldn't have a clue, I remember reading that in dreams you can't read anything. All text is... not there, apparently.

Anyway, the dude appeared.

I hooked him in the face, broke shit in his head.

I woke up.

I don't think I'll ever be the bigger man with dreams like that.

I think I still thirst for blood.

Don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.

So it's another year.

My birthday has gone and passed but really, if you think about it, it's just another day.

What's really so special about that one day where you were born all those years ago?

It's just an arbitrary day with little meaning to me. I mean, its not even right is it?

I've never really liked my own birthday. Never liked celebrating it.

I don't see the point. I guess I like keeping a low profile, not really the 'centre of attention' type of person.

In the end its just a reminder of what I have and unfortunately, what I don't have.

Anyway, no escaping it really... It comes every year, so suck it up.

Ok, muscial interlude time.

This song has been stuck in my head for a while since I heard Ted attempting to play it.

I've been trying to learn as well actually, harder than I thought though.

Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you

It's not that I want you

Not to say, but if you only knew

How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me

Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away

Then you couldn't make things new

Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand

All you have to do is close your eyes

And just reach out your hands and touch me

Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words is all I ever needed you to show

Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me

Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

What would you say if I took those words away

Then you couldn't make things new

Just by saying I love you

More than words