Junk Food Analogy

Let's take junk food.


It's not good for you.  Yet you continue to eat it.
You know by continuing you're only really causing pain to yourself and eventually the people around you.
How can something so good be so bad?
But yet, you continue.


And so you've moved on and been eating all that other 'healthy' food.
It's blander, not as interesting but in the eyes of other people, its good for you.
But really, you're quickly getting bored of it and in your spare time you wonder what its like to have that junk food again.
How can something so good be so bad?
But you know by going back its only really going to cause more pain again.


How do you make the right choice?
Life choice.

Hiatus

So by popular demand (1 post asking for it), I'm posting again.

The thing is, it is always going to be sporadic as I don't always have an opinion to make really.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm not really an arrogant person. I believe if you ask anybody that knows me they wouldn't say I have an overly cocky personality.

Now I do these night classes. And I've been doing them for 2 semesters now, breezing relatively easily through them.

Now I do kind of have an advantage. Similar to if you've been playing tennis for your entire life and then decide to switch over to.... squash. Same thing but different.

But I think my undercover overconfidence has only really aided me so far and this new class I'm doing I'm struggling. It's like I've been playing amateur tennis against blind monkeys my whole life and now swapped to professional squash.

It's a bit of a self-esteem deflator.

The thing is I've never really been like this. I've never really been "in it to win it". But now lately I've noticed everything has become a competition. It's not that I'm striving for something higher but more like competing to down-trod someone else.

I think I might actually need to get down and do some work...

Nothing

Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet

They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'm never
Only they can’t see where this is gonna end
They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if I faced her face, that she'll come to her senses
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

Ohh, sometimes love's intoxicating
Ohh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking
When you realize there's no one waiting

Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her

And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

And I know that I'm drunk but I’ll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they’re slurred
Dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard
Was nothing

She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
I got nothing
I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Ohh I got nothing

I got nothing
I got nothing
I got nothing

Memory

A while back I tried to get one of my friends to go somewhere but he never gave me a good reason why he didn't want to come.

He'd never been or anything, just didn't want to go.

I ended going without him but eventually got him to explain why he didn't go.

It was because he didn't want the place to be associated with that 'feeling'.

Something like he wanted the place to be special and that the first time be at least memorable and a choice of his own.

Now I scoffed at that when I first heard it. Silly I thought.

But I think I get it now.

I mean, I have so many places now I wouldn't even consider going to anymore just coz of the memories it will bring back or just not wanting to be there.

It just the memory of the place is so inhibiting, it's hard to believe that just a feeling it enough to stop a person from doing something.

I remember I said at the time, "You can just replace the memory".

But you can't really... It just goes against a memory's meaning, it's meant to last, stick to the mind.

What Is Love?

No, I don't mean that song.

I just mean in general. I heard somewhere a different take on things that's kinda new to me.

Be prepared, it gets kinda sappy.

I'm used to love being an emotion, a feeling you have for someone or something.

I think I mentioned a while back, it's like a chemical reaction.

A 'thing'.

But what if all it was, was hard work?

An 'action'. All it was was what you did to make it work, the effort exerted just for a happy existence.

It's not the same as attraction though. Attraction is what you feel for someone, the initial pull you get towards someone, the irrepressible urge to think about someone, the desire, lust, longing for something.

You can be attracted to someone but not love them and you can also love someone but not be attracted to them.

It makes sense though, you fall in love with someone which means you've just gotten over the initial attraction and starting to work past that to 'love'.

It's actually kind of a sad analogy for love, making it into just some arbitrary actions, dispelling the mystery, removing the romance.

Yet I still thought about it.

Maybe all we needed was hard work.

Fallacy of Fate

I think I've gone over this before... dejavu really.

I was reading an article going on about a theory saying that fate is not really being a set of coincidental events where the 'stars all line up for you' but are a random occurrence of events we clump together to make it seem like it.

Funnily enough it's called the Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy.

Basically Fate is just randomness with meaning put on top by humans.

The idea is that 'meaning' itself is a human creation, a message we interpret to what we want when really there isn't anything of significance.

What should be random is given meaningless meaning by a subjective third party trying to conform a random group of events into what may seem like destiny.

So is there really no such thing as a coincidence? Is the universe not working for you, helping you pass that exam, helping you get that job, helping you get that girl?

All it's doing is randomly spurting events, left right centre.

Logic takes the fun out of everything.

Grudge Match

I should have said something when we saw each other.

I should have absolutely let loose. But it was cordial.

I had it all planned in my head but it seems nothing really goes to plan.

Why can't I follow through?

I am still angry about it.

Maybe I'm upset that the other side seems to have been affected so little.

Did it only ever mean something to me?