At this point in time, I believe I am happy.
Content.
But it's very weird when you have random, possibly sub-conscientiously, suicidal tendencies and thoughts.
I didn't get any sleep last night, another night of just lying in my bed.
Is the lack of sleep at fault?
Should I start hallucinating soon?
It sometimes baffles me when I feel content yet think like this.
But this isn't a first.
Back in darker times these would actually be quite common.
I never really slept well then as well.
I remember standing in front of a moving bus, just staring at the headlights, maybe succumbing to these deep thoughts, only to snap out of it just in time to hear the bus beep past.
I do wonder sometimes if these actually mean something or will I 'grow out of it'.
Don't worry people, I won't do anything silly, just thinking if I splat this out there I may find some inner peace... or something fruity like that.
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