One Wish

So I believe I've been drinking abit too much lately.
Now anyone who really knows me, knows I'm pretty lightweight. Rosey red blush after a sip.

Why did I just mention that? No idea. I just thought of that now.
I think I might just be trying to find something to blame for my backpain because I don't really want to blame the real problem.

Myself.

Who really wants to blame themselves for inflicting pain on... err themselves.


I was searching through my work bag today and found something abit unexpected.
It was one of these charms I got given not long ago that was made in a temple and was blessed etc.
"Grants you one wish" or something along those lines was the 'power' bestowed on it.

It's kinda funny.
I made a wish at the time on this charm, knowing that it wouldn't come true, but ever so 'wishing' it would.

Does that even count?

Making a wish you know can't happen? Does it go against some heavenly creed that states that wishes made on charms passed to mortals need to be wishes that CAN be granted?

Does that mean I can make another wish? Or has the 'wishing' power gone?
Either way I don't think I'll be revoking my wish.

I think this song kinda ... fits though.

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...

As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favourite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all the way up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time

If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish

Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'm feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'm sick
Here's my wish list

First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all the way up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish

I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know

If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time

It's odd I'm putting so much music up lately. I'm actually listening to it alot more than usual I think as well.
I've always had a thing for music. To me, it's meant to mean something, signify something deeper than the beats it makes, more intricate than the lyrics sung and even more pure than the white of the paper its written on.
I've been really listening alot to my music collection lately. No one left in the office to talk to as much now really... But the collection, it's 'eclectic' to say the least. I'm getting kinda sick of it though.

It all means something to me. Every song has a memory to it. Has a thought linked to it. Has an emotion, a dream or an ideal that somehow my warped and twisted mind has conjured and tacked to it.

I want to look for a new watch. I haven't used one for a while and the lack of timekeeping is throwing me off. The last watch I have is ... well still in Taiwan time. It's not that I'm too lazy to change it, its just... well, again in my warped and twisted mind, I've associated it to something and decided to leave it as such. The time where it was my last chance, even though there was little hope of having a chance anyway. The last time I actually felt whole and even 'loved'. Cheesy aye?

But isn't it a reminder? Good idea to do this? Probably not, but when have I ever been known to have good ideas.

Yesterday we went to the Armageddon expo thing. It's kinda gone downhill from the days I went ages back but to be honest, kids are dazzled easily by the smallest things. I felt like the oldest person there even though I obviously wasn't. Although when we went to see Seth Green and Michael Winslow, it was anything but for kids.

I saw an unexpected face there too. I went to say hi and she ended up giving me some food. She's running a stall after all so I guess it comes with the territory.
It makes things harder when they're so nice to me. I feel like its a world I'm leaving behind really even though I really want to be part of it.

Sorry about the very incoherent post.
It's just the process of regurgitation that does this really.
I think I'll just end it then. Better than just going on and on.
Until next bat-time.


At least she's happy.